Subdivided We Stand Meets Marathon Man

To Go Or Not To Go, That Is The Question

Do I attend my 20th high school reunion this November? 

I keep in touch with only three people from high school.  It used to be four but one of them went all hard-core Mormon, but that is a post for another day. 

Unlike Bob, I do not have friends hassling me about attending.  Of my current HS friends, one is absolutely not going, the other wants to go but probably won’t because his wife’s reunion is the same night and the other said she will go but only if I go. 

For the most part, I do not have a lot of warm and fuzzy memories about my high school days. It's not as if I harbor any ill-will towards the other 260-something people I graduated with in 1987, it's more apathy and complete indifference.  Those feelings also extend to what they’ve become and/or done over the past 20 years. 

Cost is also an issue.  The price would be $130 for me and Bob.  For that money I would rather go to Morton’s and have a great steak rather than the riggi-chickie-piggy that will probably be served at the reunion.  (Note to new diners at Morton’s -- it is a LIVE lobster on the tray they bring to your table).   Plus there is the cost of a babysitter, a new outfit (of course) and probably drinks.

On the other hand, there is the voyeuristic side of me that would like to see these folks just to see if I have aged better than them.  Living well is the ultimate revenge, right? I'd like to think that I look good for 38, but sometime a girl need reassurance. 

Bob pointed out that I did have a good time at his 25th reunion even though I didn't know many people.  That, however, was mainly due to the fact that I found someone with a similar sense of humor who was more than willing to watch, and sarcastically comment on, the antics that were going on. HI CATHY!  I doubt I'd have the freedom to do that with it being my reunion.  Secretly, I think Bob wants to hear stories about my HS days to find out what I was like back then, but ultimately I think he would be disappointed.  I can tell you dear readers that I went my entire Freshman year without speaking to anyone other than the girl with whom I shared a locker. 

I am just not sure what to do.  And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub.  I keep waiting to see if the coordinators of the reunion will post a list of all who have responded, but nothing yet.  I guess I'll continue to take a "wait and see" attitude until the very last minute.

BREAKING NEWS

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news update.

From the Uniontown Herald Standard:

Joe Hardy, 84, has filed for divorce from this third wife Kristin, 23, citing the ever-popular irreconcilable differences.

Irreconcilable differences!!!  You're kidding me right?  Two people with a 61 year gap in their ages should have all kinds of things in common. 

• She wants to go dancing - he wants to nap.
• She wants to go shopping - he wants to nap.
• She wants to go to the spa - he wants to nap.
• She wants to (add any physical activity) - he wants to nap.
• She wants a roll in the hay - OMG my mind's eye.

I really thought that they were a long-term relationship, like 1 year or so, but 4 months??  Seems hardly worth the money spent on the wedding.  If I were a wedding guest and I bought a kick-ass gift for the couple, I would want it back.  I certainly hope that she gets something out of the deal.

(Note from Bob:  Hopefully Mrs. Subdivided won't mind if I spice up her post with a photo of the couple in happier times...)

Wednesday's Rant

Looks like in addition to taking a week off from work, Bob is also taking the week off from the blog.  I guess it is up to me and Joe to pick up the slack.  Joe is picking up his part of the slack by posting new chapters of his book and telling a great story that gives readers the warm and fuzzies.  I, on the other hand, have chosen to do what I seem to do best on this blog, which is to post a rant (and a couple of raves for good karma).  So here goes.....

Julie rants:

To the lady in the white Subaru in front of me the other day:  Don't start yelling at me because I was trying to make a right hand turn when you were also apparently trying to make the same turn.  You forgot to put your damn turn signal on and I cannot read your mind when I don't have my crystal ball in the car.

To the co-worker that sends out mass emails:  If you don't know my political views (which you don't) I respectfully ask that you stop sending out politically charged emails.  Especially when they contain false statements which are only intended to incite the readers.  Adding a disclaimer of "not sure if this is true...." does not make it acceptable.

To the fashion-conscious girl in front of Toys-R-Us:  White sweatpants pulled up to your knees with white high heels is not a good look.  Ever.  Trust me.

To Allegheny County officials:  272 dead geese does not even put a dent in the flocks around North Park.  I drove through there this morning and saw as many as I usually do on my morning commute.  I did see some geese dressed all in black walking towards the lake, but I digress.  Don't get me wrong, I love animals but trying to goose-step the poop is getting tiresome. 

Julie raves:

To my hubby:  Thanks for taking time during your vacation to paint the bedroom.  I really appreciate the great job you did.  It looks so much better that the machine gun green-gray color that we "accidentally" painted it years ago.

To a friend:  This week is your last week here at work.  Despite the negative events that have gone on in your life, both personally and professionally, you are the kindest, most generous and caring person I've ever met.  I will miss you; I cherish your friendship and advice and your cookies are to DIE for.

To Matt Groening:  Here is the avatar I made for myself.  Please feel free to use it in your next movie.

  View this photo

Did You Have A Good Time?

I hope the person or persons who used my VISA card to charge a couple nights' hotel stay in New Orleans had a very good time.  I must have missed the call inviting me to tag along, but I was busy anyway.

Random Thoughts

I find it amazing that Mr. SubD has known me since I was 23 years old.

I also find it amazing that Mr. SubD does not divulge my "blonde" moments on this blog despite his very strong desire to do so.  (No, I am not a blonde and I apologize to all blondes reading this post.)

Reason #102 why it really pays off to be a mother to a 4 year old -- he tells you that he gets rid of his eye boogers by eating them.

If you can't be bothered to turn your turn signal on, I cannot be bothered to let you turn.  A little common courtesy is all I ask and giving me the evil eye will not change my mind as I am not a mind reader.  Let's face it, if I were a mind reader I would probably be a super hero and wouldn't be stuck in traffic with you.

Of all of my previous hair colors, I think being a redhead is the best.

Reason #103 why it really pays off to be a mother to a 4 year old -- you can teach him the concept of "going commando" as a result of him deciding that putting his pants on sans underwear is perfectly acceptable.

Why is it that Bob can get a haircut for $20 while mine, although a much easier cut, would be double that price?

How many pharmacies do we really need?  I know we have one of the oldest populations, but c'mon at last count there were at least 9 on McKnight with a new Walgreens being built.

A friend sent me the list of top 50 large companies in Pittsburgh to show me (ironically) that mine was about halfway from the top.   I can't help but wonder who these people were and how much they were paid for their vote.

Mr. Subdivided and Marathon Man

To steal a phrase from my hubby.....

If everything goes according to plan, Mr. Subdivided is currently at Dulles International Airport calling a phone number and asking for JFK (aka Marathon Man aka Joe F. Kelly).  I surprised him with a trip down to D.C. to see Joe.  When he left this morning he had no idea where he was going other than he needed to drive to the airport and check in for United flight 7211.  I hope he has a good time and I should get some brownie points for arranging the weekend jaunt.

In other news....

• Apparently I am not as smart as a 5th grader if last night's TV show of a similar name is any indication.  I am however, as smart as a 4th grader as I got those questions correct.  I cannot say the same for the (annoying) guy who was playing for the big bucks.  Twice he had to be saved by ten year olds.  I think the concept of the game is interesting, but there are too many commercials and too much idle chatter.  The guy on last night's episode won $175,000.  He lost on the following question: "In what geological era are we in now?"  Highlight here for the answer (Cenozoic).
• We went to our very first Parent-Teacher conference for Adam.  His teachers told us that he was a pleasure to have in their class.  He calls everyone "Buddy Boy".  We originally thought that Buddy Boy was reserved solely for his friend Ben, but not so, everyone is Buddy Boy, even the girls.  Seems the boy excels at cognitive skills, which we could have told them before they told us.   
• Kate is learning more new words and phrases every week.  One of our favorites is her version of "I don't know" which comes out as "Idano" (rhymes with Idaho).

You all have a great weekend.  Check back next week as I am sure Bob will have some updates from his trip. 

Julie

Punxsy Phil In Da House

The hubby and I went to Groundhog Day celebrations several years ago with another couple.  We had a place to stay near Gobblers Knob so we figured why not.

The morning started with us getting up at a ridiculously early time and bundling up for the frigid temperatures.  As we walked out of the house, we decided that instead of walking down the road and back up the hill to see Phil, we'd cut across a field that would take us right up to the Knob.  So we started walking, and soon we discovered that the snow in the field was much deeper than we originally thought -- up to our knees deep.  But we continued to walk because at this point our pants were already wet.  At the top of the field was a grove of trees and beyond the trees was the Knob. So we walked towards the trees and suddenly we all came to a complete stop. 

Something was breathing....heavily....loudly....and we could see its breath.  It was large based on the faint outline we could see in the moonlight.  We froze, no one said a word for a minute or two.  Then I said "I think it's a bear" and everyone grunted in agreement.  We slowly crept around the bear and made our way to see Punxsy Phil being pulled from a tree stump so we could determine with pinpoint accuracy the time frame in which Spring would arrive. 

After the festivities, the four of us decided to walk back through the trees and back down through the field.  Why, you ask, would four relatively intelligent people decide to go back down a path that held the possibility of danger and more knee-deep snow?  Because we apparently did not learn our lesson the first time around and are much lazier than we'd like to admit.

As we walked through the trees we finally saw the animal responsible for the heavy and loud breathing.  It wasn't a bear.  It wasn't even a deer.  It was a (insert what you think it was here).  Now highlight the following to see what it really was (cow).

After that adventure, we all took naps to recover.  At the end of the day, we did get this photo taken with Phil, who, according to the guy in the top hat, is a very ornery fellow.  Of course I would be too if someone yanked me from my nice cozy home with my live-in-lover Phyllis, dragged me out in the freezing cold to sit in a tree stump and prognosticate.  Where is PETA during all of this?

Wee Ones

Julie says:

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU...YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN:

OKAY, I WAS JUST JOKING WITH THAT ONE, HERE IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN:

BROTHER AND SISTER PEACEFULLY COEXISTING (at least for approximately 4 minutes).

I AM SO TIRED

(Bob says, parenthetically...)
As Julie was posting the post you're about to read, I was posting the post you'll find below THIS post -- the latest update from my pal Joe in Kuwait.  Consider today a twofer-Tuesday.  Unless you're reading it on Monday.  Or Wednesday.)

Julie sez...

The body is an amazing organism.  What makes it even more amazing to me is that it can function on a somewhat 'normal' level with what amounts to approximately 6 hours of sleep over the past 3 nights.  Don't get me wrong, I physically look as if I have only had 6 hours of sleep, but I was able to come into work today and perform my job responsibilities with the same level of care and diligence as I usually do. 

To prove my point, I have been able to complete most of my year-end Individual Performance Management ("IPM") worksheet with glowing self-reviews of my past performance, my current compentencies and any future career development aspirations I may want to pursue.  Got out the thesauraus and a list of the hot corporate buzz words and I was in business.  I am sure that the folks who read it will react like Ralphie's teacher, Miss Shields:  "The IPM I've been waiting for all my life. Listen to this sentence: "A Contracts Manager with a client-centered attitude and this thing which leverages paradigms". Poetry. Sheer poetry, Julie! An A+++++!"  Okay, well I totally made that last part up. 

But I digress.  What, you may ask, is keepng me from my beloved sleep?  I'll tell you.  It is a sick and very cranky 20 month old little girl.  We're not sure what exactly is wrong with her, but whatever it is better run its course and get the hell out of our house.  I'll spare you the details; for those that have kids you can just imagine it and for those that are considering kids, well, you're just going to have to learn the hard way. 

In some ways I wish Kate could just tell us what is wrong, that would certainly make things a bit easier.  Although with the kids you tend to get all kinds of strange and obviously incorrect answers e.g Adam told me this morning that his pee-pee hurt and when I asked why he said it was because he didn't eat breakfast.  Kate's lack of linguistic skills can be very trying, especially at 4 o'clock in the morning. 

• Does your tummy hurt?  -- Yeah.
• Does your head hurt? -- Yeah.
• Does your throat hurt? -- Yeah.
• Are you tired?  -- Yeah.
• Are you mad at the President for deciding to send more troops to Iraq? -- Yeah.
• Do you want to go to sleep?  -- Yeah.
• Me too.

Random Thoughts

Julie says:

Bob and I are literally exhausted every night after dealing with work, kids and everything else that goes along with being a parent and adult, so the postings have been scarce.  In order to take the easy way out yet keep the readership happy, below are a list of random thoughts that I've had over the past few weeks. 

• The behavior of a 3 1/2 year old is pure hell with occasional glimmers of light.  It can not compare to the Terrible Twos.  Two was a dream compared to this.
• Three also seems to be the age of using potty humor.  Everyone is a doody head, potty head, poo-poo head, etc. 
• Adam told me the other night that he was really mad at me and that I was naughty because I was scolding him for hitting his sister.
• During a recent rendition of Christmas carols in the car, Bob and I were told that Rudolph's nose did not light up like a light bulb and that Batman doesn't have anything to do with Jingle Bells.
• Kate apparently has been born with a Princess gene. The other night I went in to her room when she was crying and she held up her bottle, shook it and demanded "juice".  I tried giving her water, but she looked at the bottle, saw it was clear liquid and said "No.  Juice"
• In November I took a trip back to England for a family funeral.  Saw family members I haven't seen in over 15 years.  Growing up, I always felt sorry for myself because I didn't have any family nearby to celebrate the holidays, etc.  I now realize that a 3000 mile buffer is a wonderful thing.
• There are a LOT more overweight people in Liverpool than ever before.  The superstores and fast-food joints are moving in and the local, 'round the corner' shops are closing.  It's a shame; I have very fond memories of walking  to the local shop for candy or a lolly ice.
• On the flight over the older man behind me, who spoke no English whatsoever yet was traveling alone, was using the barf back too often and then shoving the menu at me through the seats apparently thinking it was the Customs landing card.  They brought back a steward who was apparently of Indian decent to see if he could communicate with this gentleman.  The steward started by speaking Indian but apparently it was the wrong dialect.  He then started speaking in English but louder and louder.  Yup, that is going to work.
• On the 9 hour flight back from England, the little old English lady next to me kept waking me up to tell me about the food service coming by (3 times), movies starting, and an hour to landing, etc.  Apparently me having a sleep mask on with pillows and a blanket on was not enough to signal that I just wanted to sleep.
• Is it just me or is the driving around town get worse than ever?  Every day, and I mean EVERY day, I see people driving through red lights, making turns from the wrong lane, driving across parking lots instead of up and down the aisles, yadda, yadda, yadda. 
• Just when you think that mankind is going to hell in a handbasket, something happens that gives a glimmer of hope.  Last Sunday, the man in line behind me at Giant Eagle helped me bag my groceries.  He might have been doing that to help himself get through the line faster, but it was a really nice gesture.
• I am convinced that certain charities (and I use that term loosely) sell lists of donors names.  I made one donation to a certain type of charity and the next thing I know I've had many calls from similar charities.
• I am not sure why Bob and I continue to have a land line phone.  We very rarely get calls, so why pay the money.  If anyone has a cellular plan they are happy with, let us know. Preferably around $40.
• How do companies justify a reorg whereby an employee is given a new manager who has absolutely no experience in the employee's field?  That screams "no career path".  Guess it is time to look for a new job.
• On a drive today I was cruising through the radio stations and came across the Christian station and they had on a financial planner.  I heard him giving advice to one young girl who was saving money for college.  He asked her if she had any idea where she was going to get the money for college.  She replied "I do not, but I am hoping that Jesus will provide me with the money."  Financial guy answers "That's great".   (crickets chirping) I'm all verklempted.  Talk amongst yourselves.